Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Recycled Tie Couture

Step One:
 Score a used man's tie at a thrift store. This one, which is 100% silk, cost $2.

Step Two:
Select a pin. This one is part of my "Traveling Shoes" series, made from found scrap metal and an old smashed silver Mexican huarache charm.

Step Three:
Loop the tie once around your neck and bring the two ends together with the narrower end underneath. This will automatically set the tie at a jaunty angle. Secure with your pin. In this shot, the tie has been looped twice around the neck.

Here's another take, using a vintage carved wood bird pin. This turns out to be not only a way of using old ties, but a really good way of featuring pins. In this shot the tie has been looped once around the neck.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Delilah Necklace

Another false artifact from an ersatz culture that never existed, assembled using a rusted piece from an electronic hair clipper found on the railroad tracks in Oakland, a "beard plucker" (like a pair of giant tweezers) from Uganda circa 1969, and some scavenged medallions from somewhere or other. For the woman ready to take on Samson.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Fusion Necklace: Exporting End-stage Capitalism

The world scene seems almost overripe for this false product, so I'm putting it up on the virtual shelf for window shoppers to enjoy.

Here we have an antique hammered silver box picked up on the African coast over thirty-five years ago, combined with trinkets cranked out by the American advertising community. The silver Arab "prayer box" has a sliding lid on top and would traditionally contain prayers or words from the Koran. Now it contains a couple of vintage McDonald's coupons.

When I originally assembled this piece decades ago I didn't have the nerve to wear it because it seemed so politically/religiously incorrect. At this point, who's kidding whom? We are bombing the Middle East into democracy and we all know what that means: We get the oil and they get the Coca Cola, debit cards, cigarettes, and Big Macs. Welcome to the world of end-stage capitalism where we all go down the drain together. I plan to wear this lovely necklace on the voyage.

Definition of end-stage capitalism: Capitalism, like cancer, depends on unlimited growth for its survival. Unlimited growth of cancer eventually kills the host. How many pairs of shoes can one consumer buy? How much debt can you rack up on your credit cards? How much oil, water and land are required to support continued, unlimited expansion? For capitalism to work, you need a growing number of products and a growing number of consumers in perpetuity.  Sounds ridiculous on the face of it doesn't it? And yet, like cancer, we are trying to spread our capitalism to other points in the world.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Moon Illusion Viewing Kit

Because the current super moon on March 19, 2011 offers such unparalleled viewing opportunities, we are launching an early release of the newest item in our false product line: the Moon Illusion Viewing Kit.

Why does the moon appear so huge on the horizon and so small up in the sky? No one, including astrophysicists or scientists, has been able to figure out what causes this illusion and neither will you. What our kit does is enable you to pierce the illusion and perceive reality: the moon is the same size no matter how huge a fat harvest moon may appear to be.

Front of Moon Illusion Viewing Kit depicting nighttime, shooting stars, and a closed eye.

Back of Moon Illusion Viewing Kit depicting eye open, piercing the illusion.

Back view of Moon Illusion Viewing Kit when opened up.

Front view of open Moon Illusion Viewing Kit, revealing super-secret moon viewing implements.

To pierce the mystery of the moon illusion, which has been recorded and puzzled over by observers for thousands of years, use one of the moon viewing implements. Any object about the size of a dime will do. Here, options include buttons, ten centavos coins from Mexico, and a painted rock. Choose one.

Strategic moon illusion viewing position.
Hold your button, coin, or rock as shown, extending your arm until the surface of the coin covers the moon. Try this when you see what appears to be a huge full moon on the horizon. Note the length of extension of your arm as you've reached a point where your coin fully covers the image of the moon. Later, when the moon is high in the sky and appears tiny, do the exact same thing again, extending your arm the same amount, and try covering the face of the moon with your coin. It fits! The moon is the exact same size whether on the horizon or up in the sky. You have pierced the moon illusion!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Postcard Collages

When all of the old postcards folks have sent you are collecting dust and getting splattered by the radiator...cut them up and collage them together.

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