Control Freak Merit Badge

 

Another merit badge!

The Awards Jacket, inspired by a memorable, albeit brief, stint in the Girl Scouts, has been an immensely satisfying ongoing project which involves inventing and bestowing upon myself an assortment of accolades. My merit badges are devoted to things like being able to use chopsticks, having a belly that makes me an excellent lazy floater, etc. Three recent badges (two self-awarded, one hand-embroidered by a grandniece) relate to surviving the pandemic.

My latest medal may be my favorite so far. Inspired by a vintage medallion gifted to me by a friend who knows me well, this may be my crowning achievement — an award for being an intrepid control freak. As one old boyfriend noted, "What would all of us do without you ordering us around and telling us what to do? How would the world go on?" I couldn't agree more.

In truth, however, I realize how much easier life would be if I didn't have to carry the burden of knowing so very much more than everyone else about what should be done in every circumstance (even those in which I lack all practical knowledge, which I have never found a deterrent). I wear the medal as much as a reminder to check those impulses as to acknowledge myself unabashedly as the control freak that I am.

Medal front

Medal back

The original medal gifted to me is from a "young birds" pigeon race in Stafford, England in 1936. What better symbol of control than to successfully order a bunch of pigeons about? However, 1936 is a particularly poignant year in the annals of pigeons and human history, with one incident in particular pointing to the perils of trying to control a flock of twitchy birds prone to hysteria. During the opening ceremonies of the 1936 Berlin Olympics, 25,000 pigeons were released. Unfortunately, a cannon was fired at the same time, causing all of the pigeons to release their bowels in utter panic. One athlete, Louis Zamerini, a distance runner, describes the scene: "...you could hear the pitter patter on our straw hats, but we felt sorry for the women, for they got it in their hair."

Control gone wrong. It happens far too often. To create my medal I added a bit of chain and used some ribbon stitched over a cardboard base to give it a bit of a military swagger and added a pin backing.

The control freak medal

The final result has now been installed on my awards jacket, which really should have a soundtrack of Beatles-type honky tonk music as I wear it out and about.

You Deserve a Medal

Medals for valiant children

Every once in a while life throws you a scary curve ball that requires true grit. I believe those life moments warrant some sort of acknowledgement and recognition. I have offered various options for entertaining medals over the years, including medals for myself stitched to my ongoing Awards Jacket, and the funky delight of making medals out of recycled ribbon and scrap in the post, Recycled Ribbon Awards. 

This time around, the medals go out to my two grand-nieces who have just been uprooted from the town and school and friends they have known their entire lives to move to a new town and new school. Of necessity, everything happened very fast, they found out about the move a week before school was to start in August, and the family had not yet found a house in the new location. As a result, they started a new school and plunged into the great unknown during an interim stay in a Quality Inn. Now that is tough. And that deserves a medal. I proceeded to make some and sent each of them an awards presentation package in the mail.

Label on each custom-made award box

Before the move, the girls and I had been discussing the concept of multiple dimensions, parallel universes, and those critical moments in life where one move or one decision or one seemingly trivial even sends you down an alternate life path. The twelve-year-old began to refer to these as the great "what ifs."

The awards were accompanied by the following documentation:

The medals incorporate old chains and salvaged jewelry findings and bits of broken jewelry. They also each include a small copper charm with the letters "Aug." on them because they entered a parallel dimension when they moved in August. Note that I just happen to have an entire small bag of these copper "August" charms purchased as a scrap find. This is the first time since I found them over thirty years ago that I have had occasion to use them.  The medals also incorporate a feature piece — a vintage piece of French theatrical costume appliqué, purchased from the collection of French opera and theater costumery at the store Tinsel in Berkeley, California. They may be worn as a necklace or hung on a wall.

Medal for a 12-year-old entering an alien middle school

Medal for a 10-year-old entering a new elementary school

Let's face it, times are tough. And sometimes you deserve a medal.

 

Give Yourself a Medal: The Awards Jacket

The Uber-Official-Looking Awards Jacket

Sometimes you just deserve a medal. No one else may realize it, but deep in your heart you know it's true. And there is a certain something about a guy — or a gal — in uniform. The much-maligned author Jerzy Kozinsky knew this better than anyone. He would go to uniform shops and have them tailor-make a uniform that would transform him into an intimidating, high-ranking officer from some vague, obscure, non-existent country. My trip down this fantasy road began with the discovery of some badges at the bottom of a basket of assorted rubble at the Depot for Creative reuse in Oakland. I snagged a few that appealed to me and supplemented those with some iron-on images I had created in the past from my stash at home. Once I spotted this military-style linen jacket at the thrift store right around the corner from me, I was in business.

Awards, left shoulder

Close-up

I decided what all of the awards represented because, after all, I am the head honcho of this fantasy squadron. Note that the "Not" pin is from a previous post, "Dialog Pin for Troubled Times," where you will find how-to instructions to make pins of your own.

Right shoulder

Close-up

Accidents happen in any campaign and in this case, when I decided to remove the original clothing label from this recycled garment, I inadvertently snipped right through the fabric of the jacket at the neckline. No worries. The "cross child" label below, which uses an image lifted from a Japanese language card, not only covers the glitch, it communicates that there is someone you don't want to tangle with inside this uniform.

Back neck label: Don't mess with me.

Close-up

As an afterthought, I used my new (recycled) printing kit and fabric ink to print a motto for our times and for my branch of this non-existent military: "Despair is not an option." Quote courtesy of Bernie Sanders.

"Despair is not an option."

There is a fine line, when creating a garment like this, between fashioning something that can pass as street clothing and an interesting conversation-starter, and ending up with something that would make everyone on AC Transit move to the other end of the bus. I am hoping I have pulled off the former.

If you're ready to sign up for my non-existent army, go ahead and create a uniform of your own. This automatically qualifies you to become commanding officer of whatever branch of the force you wish, with full powers to award yourself medals. No saluting necessary, except maybe a peace sign.