Become a Walking Billboard

 

In honor of RGB

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Here is a quickie upcycle project that took less than a day.

1. Start by finding a shirt with a suitable simple neck opening. Rummage through your closet and find something you last wore so long ago you’ve forgotten about it entirely. Cannibalize it!

I have no idea why this picture is sideways, but it’s the pandemic and I can’t deal with it. Tilt your head.

2. Figure out how wide you want your collar to be. Make a little paper measuring tool as a guide, and mark the shirt all the way around using pencil. My width was constrained by the original garment, and was 2.25 inches.

Measure and mark

3. Cut out the collar along your markings.

4. Find some lace. This is one of those my-stash-is-better-than-yours scenarios. I have a whole bag of cards of lace that I got for a song at a recycle place in Oakland called the Depot for Creative Reuse. In your case, consider cannibalizing something else from your wardrobe.

Find some lace

5. Stitch the lace to the collar and if you like, add some embroidery. I always pre-draw or letter onto a piece of paper first until I like it, and then transfer to cloth using carbon paper.

6. Find something to wear that is simple and black. Don your collar, and hit the streets. 

Voila! You are a walking billboard.

Get out the vote.

Give Yourself a Medal: The Awards Jacket

The Uber-Official-Looking Awards Jacket

Sometimes you just deserve a medal. No one else may realize it, but deep in your heart you know it's true. And there is a certain something about a guy — or a gal — in uniform. The much-maligned author Jerzy Kozinsky knew this better than anyone. He would go to uniform shops and have them tailor-make a uniform that would transform him into an intimidating, high-ranking officer from some vague, obscure, non-existent country. My trip down this fantasy road began with the discovery of some badges at the bottom of a basket of assorted rubble at the Depot for Creative reuse in Oakland. I snagged a few that appealed to me and supplemented those with some iron-on images I had created in the past from my stash at home. Once I spotted this military-style linen jacket at the thrift store right around the corner from me, I was in business.

Awards, left shoulder

Close-up

I decided what all of the awards represented because, after all, I am the head honcho of this fantasy squadron. Note that the "Not" pin is from a previous post, "Dialog Pin for Troubled Times," where you will find how-to instructions to make pins of your own.

Right shoulder

Close-up

Accidents happen in any campaign and in this case, when I decided to remove the original clothing label from this recycled garment, I inadvertently snipped right through the fabric of the jacket at the neckline. No worries. The "cross child" label below, which uses an image lifted from a Japanese language card, not only covers the glitch, it communicates that there is someone you don't want to tangle with inside this uniform.

Back neck label: Don't mess with me.

Close-up

As an afterthought, I used my new (recycled) printing kit and fabric ink to print a motto for our times and for my branch of this non-existent military: "Despair is not an option." Quote courtesy of Bernie Sanders.

"Despair is not an option."

There is a fine line, when creating a garment like this, between fashioning something that can pass as street clothing and an interesting conversation-starter, and ending up with something that would make everyone on AC Transit move to the other end of the bus. I am hoping I have pulled off the former.

If you're ready to sign up for my non-existent army, go ahead and create a uniform of your own. This automatically qualifies you to become commanding officer of whatever branch of the force you wish, with full powers to award yourself medals. No saluting necessary, except maybe a peace sign.

The Astounding Magic Puppet Shirt

Introducing an innovative technique for upcycling shirts, and this is a twist that packs a lot of punch. At first glance, the shirt below looks absolutely normal—a stylish, over-size, black linen shirt with vintage wine-colored Bakelite buttons. This wouldn't gain a second-glass during a stroll through an airport or international film festival other than, perhaps, the comment, "Nice shirt!"

The shirt in undercover, "Clark Kent mode," with sleeves rolled up

But hark! Do we hear the cry of a fractious toddler or the grating whine of a bored child? Unroll the right sleeve and the shirt reveals its magic super powers, transforming into a mesmerizing interactive entertainment system.

Magic shirt with right sleeve unrolled to reveal puppet

Close-up of the puppet

The human operator wearing the shirt manipulates the puppet, cocking its head, opening and closing its mouth, using its felt tongue to lick anything in sight. The human operator also provides the puppet voice, engaging any children in the vicinity in conversation, jokes, and song. The children are stunned and amazed but depending on their age, not as amazed as one might think. They have not yet learned that all adults are not walking around with a hidden puppet up their sleeve.

The shirt  was upcycled from a very large Indian man's shirt (called a kurta - google it). A friend gives me these oversize kurtas, which come all the way down to mid-calf and have unusually long sleeves. I cut off the bottom of the shirt, making it tunic length, and used some of the salvaged material to sew an inside flap on the right sleeve (think of it as a reverse cuff, on the inside rather than the outside).

Revamping the shirt (click to enlarge)

I also switched out the buttons on the original shirt, substituting the vintage Bakelite buttons.

For the puppet, I used felt to create the ears, tongue, nose, and whiskers, and two vintage buttons to create the eyes.

Once I slid my hand inside the concealed flap and tried to manipulate the sleeve like a puppet, I realized it was too wide and floppy, and needed to be brought in more closely to the size of my hand to work. However, I still wanted to be able to roll up the sleeve so that it would look just like the other rolled-up sleeve. The solution? Two sets of snaps, strategically sewn in place.

View underneath the sleeve, with the two sets of snaps securely shut

How the snaps are placed

View underneath sleeve with both snaps unsnapped

To operate the puppet, you unroll the sleeve, snap the two sets of snaps in place, and insert your hand into the inner flap, with fingers on top and thumb on the bottom.

The puppet

The mild-mannered shirt, sleeves rolled up, ready to head out into the world to stun an unsuspecting public